Stephen’s Breakfast Prophecies Are Coming True

Stephen’s Breakfast Prophecies Are Coming True


HERE’S THE THING.
I HAVE HAVE BEEN DOING THESE
SHOWS FOR EIGHT WEEKS, HAVE I
BEEN GIVING IT MY ALL T SAY
LABOR OF LOVE BUT I DO IT FOR
YOU.
BUT I HAVE JUST LEARNED
SOMETHING THAT MAKES ME WONDER
IF YOU ARE LISTENING.
BECAUSE A FEW WEEKS AGO I GAVE A
VERY CLEAR WARNING ABOUT WHAT
WOULD HAPPEN NOW THAT MCDONALD’S
IS SERVING BREAKFAST ALL DAY
LONG.
>>I JUST FOUND OUT SOMETHING
THAT HAS ROCKED ME TO MY CORE
BECAUSE TODAY FOR THE FIRST
TIME, MCDONALD’S BEGAN SERVING
BREAKFAST ALL DAY LONG.
(APPLAUSE)
AND THE ONLY REASON I EVER GOT
UP BEFORE 10:30 WAS TO MAKE IT
TO THE MCDONALD’S’ BREAKFAST
DEADLINE.
BUT NOW WITH AN EGG McMUFFIN
AVAILABLE AT ANY TIME IT IS
CHAOS.
TEAR UP YOUR HISTORY BOOKS AND
LIVE IN A CAVE.
NOTHING MEANS ANYTHING ANY MORE
>>Stephen: WILL YOU NOTICE,
AND MANY YOU OF LAUGHED WHEN I
SAID THAT, HA HA.
SOME PEOPLE OUT THERE SAID I
OVERREACTED ABOUT ALL-DAY
BREAKFAST.
I EVEN GOT A LOT OF LETTERS, A
LOT OF DIRTY, GREAS-STAINED
LETTERS.
I EVEN GOT A FEW GREAS-STAINED
E-MAILS.
I’M NOT SURE HOW DID YOU THAT.
WELL, LOOKY HERE WHAT I JUST
FOUND.
>>ALL-DAY BREAKFAST AT
MCDONALD’S APPEARS TO BE DOING
MORE HARM THAN GOOD.
>>ONE GROUP THAT IS NOT LOVING
MCDONALD’S ALL-DAY BREAKFAST,
THE WORKERS WITHIN THE BREAKFAST
MENU HAS CAUSED CONFUSION IN
THEIR KITCHENS AND CAUSED ORDERS
TO BE FILLED SLOWER AND ANGERING
CUSTOMERS WHO DON’T WANT TO
WAIT.
>>SOME FRANCHISES THE NEW MENU
IS CREATING CHAOS IN THE
KITCHEN.
>>CHAOS IN THE KITCHEN.
>>CHAOS IN THE KITCHEN.
>>Stephen: CHAOS IN THE
KITCHEN.
WHAT DID I SAY!
(LAUGHTER)
LOOK, LOOK, IT GIVES ME NO
PLEASURE TO SAY I WAS RIGHT.
BUT I WILL SAY THIS.
BAH BAH DAH BAH DAH, I TOLD YOU
SO!
I CAN’T BE DOING THIS SHOW EVERY
NIGHT IF I’M GOING TO BE SOME
CASSANDRA WHOSE PROVE EASIES NO
ONE WILL HEED, JEREMIAH DID NOT
SHOUT HIS WARNINGS INTO AN EMPTY
ALTOID CAN AND THEN HURL IT OFF
A VY A DUCT, OKAY.
I DON’T KNOW WHERE NUR DOG COMES
FROM, IT IS NOT LIKE I HAVEN’T
PROVEN MYSELF.
HAVE I BEEN DOING THE SHOW FOR
TWO MONTHS AND HAVE I BEEN RIGHT
ABOUT EVERY SINGLE
BREAKFAST-RELATED ISSUE I
WEIGHED IN.
NEED I REMIND YOU, IT IS THE
MOST IMPORTANT MEAL OF THE DAY.
BECAUSE IT’S NOT JUST THIS
MCDONALD’S DEBACLE.
THERE WAS A STORY ABOUT
ELIMINATING BACON FROM OUR
FEDERAL PRI SONS.
AND WHAT DID I SAY.
>>I UNDERSTAND THAT PRISON IS
PUNISHMENT BUT LIFE WITHOUT
POSSIBILITY OF PORK IS CRUEL AND
UNUSUAL.
>>WELL, THANK GOD SOMEONE IN
THE GOVERNMENT WAS LISTENING
BECAUSE ACCORDING TO “THE
WASHINGTON POST,” QUOTE, AFTER A
WEEK OF CONTROVERSY, THE
GOVERNMENT DID AN ABOUT-FACE AND
PUT PORK BACK ON THE PRISON BILL
OF FARE.
(APPLAUSE)
YOU SEE WHAT WE CAN ACCOMPLISH
WHEN WE WORK TOGETHER?
BY YOU DOING WHATEVER I SAY.
IT’S CALLED A PARTNERSHIP.
THE POINT IS, BECAUSE OF YOUR
CAVALIER ATTITUDE ABOUT WHEN
EGGS SHOULD BE McMUFED, IF I
CAN SAY THAT ON CBS, MCDONALD’S
HAS DESCENDED INTO A CHAOTIC
ABYSS FROM WHICH IT MAY NEVER
EMERGE.
OBVIOUSLY I WILL STILL GO TO
McDON DOFNLT I LOVE EVERYTHING
ON THE MENU.
BUT WILL YOU DO ME THIS MUCH,
WILL YOU DO THIS FOR ME, PLEASE.
NEXT TIME I WEIGH IN ON SOME
IMPORTANT ISSUE, PAN CAKES
VERSUS WAFFLES, HOW MUCH
CHOCOLATE CAN BE IN A MUFFIN
BEFORE IT’S LEGALLY A CUPCAKE–
(LAUGHTER)
>>PLEASE JUST HAVE THE HUMILITY
TO LISTEN AND WE WON’T HAVE TO
HAVE THIS LITTLE TALK AGAIN.
BECAUSE IF WE’RE GOING TO VAY
HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP, I NEED TO
KNOW YOU ARE HEARING ME, OKAY.
NOT JUST HEARING ME, BUT HEARING
ME.
ALL RIGHT, THIS IS GOOD.
I FEEL BETTER.
BY THE WAY, CANTELOUPE IS A
DUMPSTER FRUIT, NO LETTERS.


100 thoughts on “Stephen’s Breakfast Prophecies Are Coming True

  1. Oh yeah: and I know how Colbert feels about being blind and trying to find his glasses…how can you find something you've misplaced if the thing you need to see the misplaced object with, IS the very same misplaced object! HAHA…hope I can feel them on the floor with my hands before I step on them! 😛

  2. 'it's a labor of love – and I do it for you ….. aaaanndd the millions upon millions I am paid, but, whatever.

  3. So if wages are not adjusted for inflation, and cost of living go's up rent, insurance, etc, than I guess we should as a community pack ourselves into apartments sharing rent and all the bills that go along with that. Imagine for every room in a apartment, is lived in by 2 to 3 minimum wage workers depending on the location and still just barely getting by or having little scraps left to put into the ancient word called "Savings".

  4. As an employee working at McDonald's, I can assure you the only thing causing chaos are these new digital signs we just got, they're always switching, they glitch and sometimes don't switch over to lunch when they're supposed to, and at one point they showed the mcpick was 0.00$! Almost every customer that comes in hates them

  5. Notice how he slowly stutters when he says "obviously I'll still got to McDonalds, I still love everything on the menu" bs Stephen how much they pay u

  6. McDonald kitchens become chaos…..meanwhile Jack in the Box is trying to figure out how to keep the shake machine going all day and night

  7. oh. well imagine, as im pacing the streets of an old city block and i cant help but to hear i cant help but to hear an exchanging of words, what a unhealthy burger, what an unhealthy burger says a customer to a cashier ah yes but what a shame the poor managers pride is no MORE

  8. As someone who worked at McDonald's during that transition, fuck literally everyone who has ever ordered breakfast after 10:30. Not kidding. Ya'll are awful and should feel bad.

  9. Stephen, I love ya, but nobody in prison deserves to eat animal parts (pork) from animals that are tortured (kept in gestation crates, unable to turn around, beaten & driven insane) just because you think so. If I can do without pork, so can they. I thought you cared about animals. I really wish you hadn't aired this bit.

  10. I don't get it, HOW HARD IS IT TO SERVER BREAKFAST AFTER BREAKFAST TIME!?
    What, the stoves are busy with them so you can't put the normal burgers in? Just train better the people in the kitchen c'mon I usually take breakfast near midday.

  11. Who the fuck would eat breakfast at mcdonalds? Just go into a bakery and get something less expensive and healthier ^^ I love McDonalds food but starting the day buy eating there is just overkill imo.

  12. Why the hell does McDonald's, a burger joint, not serve burgers or shit at 10. i get up at 6 and my lunch break at school is at 10, so why is it that they can serve shitty egg and stale muffins all day, but if i want an order of fries i get treated like a nazi sympathizer?

  13. i wonder how much they got paid to plug McDonald's shitty breakfast menu..its trash i cant understand why people love it

  14. It's fun to see Stephen make sport of things, but there's something chilling about this. He showed six clips from major news media outlets that covered this as a news story. Enough said.

  15. if our presidents must come from showman, hollywoody's, then choose intellectuals—
    not a bearded lady like trump. hmmm, president colbert, intelligence and health.

  16. What ? Breakfast at Macdonalds ? Some Americans really take their breakfast at Macdonalds ? I am quite surprise wow.

  17. Subway served breakfast all day and it only slowed us down a little bit. I mean, it was fucking annoying, but it wasn't "chaos." McDonald's employees are just big babies. "OMFG I HAVE TO PUT A BURGER ON A BUN . . . STRAIGHT?!?"

  18. My daughter's husband hates MacDonald because he worked there in his youth. As for me the coffer is not bad, also I can eat a piece of meat without bread there – the only thing that is not forbidden for me by my doctor.Nothing else.)

  19. Jack in the Box doesn't seem to have an issue handling 24hr breakfast and dinner items. And twf is wrong with cantaloupe?

  20. My plastic surgeon told me to eat only cantaloupe and cottage cheese and I lost 50 pounds. (did i tell you how long that took?) No, I didn't think so.

  21. This is the only Stephen Colbert video I've thumbed down. I love you, Stephen, but life without pork is awesome. Pigs are bright, sensitive creatures who don't deserve to be tortured for people to eat them.

  22. I assume the American military is the same as Australia, but we have had to add halal meals to military menus. How far will people go regarding their food. Surely, after about 10.00 am, it becomes brunch, then lunch, then afternoon tea, then dinner, then supper. Maybe McDonalds has a plan to stop paying shift allowance by making all shifts 'Breakfast Shift'.

  23. as the proud owner and operator of greasy and dirty corpse and anything dead hauling stuff Inc. Grizzled Knob NC SC & vicinity 'ceppin' darkietown I take excepptin' to sumpfhin' that SColdbird sayd…dang…it zklipped my mindfield(sick()$1¢?)(tukkkerexkd VB out MN!)?

  24. As a McDonalds employee, I am absolutely offended by Colbert's slandering the All-Day Breakfast tradition.
    McDonalds seems to be doing just fine.

  25. To this day, if I missed breakfast hours, I still can't order a Bacon Biscuit with cheese after 10:30 because I have an indoctrinated feeling of guilt for even asking for one

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